A couple of weeks ago, I broke my right humerus. If you want to read all about it, head over to my horse blog, Hand Gallop. It was a (work) horse related accident, so I figured it made more sense to post about it over there. I had surgery to repair the break via some rods, screws, and a plate last week. Today is the first time I can type with two hands! This is the first time I've broken a bone or had any kind of serious injury, and it's taught me some valuable lessons.
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- It is important to have your caregiver remove your ability to online shop while under the influence of powerful painkillers. During my recovery, I've bought two Groupons, some clothes, books for my Nook, Hulu Plus, and some beauty products. Prescription medication is totally worse than alcohol when it comes to decimating willpower.
- Profuse crying and wailing will neither make you feel better nor convince your significant other to give you your next dose of pain medication immediately after you have received your scheduled dose.
- While sleeping 18 hours a day sounds amazing, it's actually really bizarre and makes your back feel weird. Even the internet goes to bed at 3 AM.
- Previously private, embarrassing topics are now common conversation fodder between you and your caregiver. Be prepared to ask this person to help you get your shorts down to go to the bathroom and have chats about bowel movements. Do not be ashamed to ask this person to shave your disgusting armpit that you haven't been able to address for a week and a half.
- The very smallest victories should be celebrated. No shame in cracking open the sparkling grape juice to celebrate the new-found ability to wear a presentable shirt, type with two hands, or pull down your own shorts.
- Being cranky only makes every other creature in the household cranky. Not only will you never get that glass of water you asked for, but the dog will inevitably bark all night and the cat will attempt to use your face as a pillow.
I think the most valuable thing I've learned is to be appreciative of friends and family. Their kind thoughts are so staggeringly nice that it makes me feel comforted and happy. Thanks, y'all.
