Stephanie Uses Power Tools

As you may or may not know, my work hours were recently slashed in half. This means I'm working 10 hours a week, leaving me with nothing to do for the other 158. If you subtract time I spend sleeping, eating, riding the horse, driving to various locales, and generally lounging, I currently have approximately 30 hours a week of free time. Some of you might be envious. I can hear you thinking, But Stephanie, you can exercise! You can start knitting! You can train the dogs properly! You can take naps and watch Food Network! You can spend your time baking fresh cookies for your loving boyfriend who's currently paying half of your bills! Gentle readers, I know. And a chunk of this free time is definitely spent napping and watching Food Network and doing the cleaning and laundering of the nice co-author of this blog. But friends, let me tell you, that shizz gets old. One can only spend so much time every day browsing the online sales at Dover Saddlery, Bit of Britain, and LL Bean. Or watching old episodes of Eureka and Doctor Who. 

So, feeling both motivated and guilty, I decided to tackle some house and yard-related projects that have been unpleasantly lingering for months. (Sort of like that weird smell from the garbage disposal.) Yesterday, I mowed the front lawn. It'd sprung up, all bright green and lush from the rain, and was way too tall to look neat. When I was finished, I decided I might as well get out the weed eater and do the trim, too. When that was finished, I figured since I was already sweaty and gross and covered in plant matter I should probably go ahead and trim the hedges. The result? A very neat lawn! But not neat enough. Our crepe myrtles all seemed to die in the unusually harsh winter. All of a sudden, they blossomed a few weeks ago. It seems they've sprouted a ton of new growth around the dead stuff, which makes them look really, really ugly. They used to be beautiful- tall and full and colorful. Now they're half dry, dead, brown branches and half pretty green foliage dotted with pink blooms. 

I tackled the removal of the dead branches on one of the plants today, using Johnny's Milwaukee reciprocating saw. The dead branches are thick and hard- too much for the little hedge clipper. Using advice from Southern Living's Grumpy Gardener, I trimmed back all of the dead growth I could find. It wasn't too difficult, but I was then faced with a new problem: the new growth had been supporting itself on the dead branches. Without them, it was too weak to hold itself up. It drooped to the ground, making the majestic myrtle look more like a weeping willow. I made the executive decision to commit crepe murder (I think of it more like assisted suicide) and trim the fresh branches. There are still a few tall branches supporting themselves, and a slew of small growth toward the bottom. I'll be reading a bit more on trimming these suckers before I get the pruners out. 

Frustrated with the garage's work bench, I spent the rest of my morning reorganizing it. I discovered the jackpot of power tools stashed in there. Johnny's got a circular saw, two drills, a jigsaw, the aforementioned reciprocating saw, and a belt sander. Lucky for me, I was a proud member of FFA in high school and learned a lot about how to properly wield power tools through agriculture classes. (Not saying I was the best welder or built the greatest rafters, but I got by.) 

So, what does Stephanie + power tools equal? Who knows? All I have on my agenda thus far is jump standards. Once I've acquired some 4x4 pieces of wood, training for my upcoming horse trial is going to kick into high gear! 

Other projects on my radar: repainting my bedroom furniture, building Johnny some sawhorses, installing a toilet, and repainting the hallway bathroom. No promises on taking pics or blogging, but I'll do my best.

Continue Reading...

You Don't Appreciate It Til It's Gone

I grew up in Tennessee and consider myself a Southerner, despite my innate dislike of sweet tea (I prefer unsweet with a big slice of lemon) and my inability to pull off a convincing accent for very long. Some people might argue that since I was born in New York, I'm still a damn Yankee. But I'd disagree. I love the South. It's where I grew up, where I went to school, where my heart will always stay.

To the untrained eye, Oklahoma might seem exactly like my beloved Tennessee. It's hot, mostly Republican, and one can certainly find a church on every corner. Everyone has a dog. Most people enjoy a cool sweet tea. Some folks say "y'all". But there are subtle differences, if you know where to look.

• People here in Oklahoma refer to soft drinks as "pop". Back home, it's always "coke", no matter the brand. 
• The lands of the South are varied, but generally consist of temperate forests across plains and hills. There's a bit of that in far eastern Oklahoma, but most of the state is distinctly part of the Great Plains. The difference between the lush green forests of Tennessee and the stark grassy plains of Oklahoma is immense and often depresses me.
• Oklahoma's history is rooted deeply in a Wild West, cowboys-and-Indians culture. Known as "Indian Territory" until it achieved statehood in 1907, this isn't surprising; however, it's vastly different from the South's heritage of early European settlement, slavery, and war. 
• The architecture of Tennessee is rooted in its antebellum period. Beautiful, columned Greek Revival-style plantations dot the landscape of not only Tennessee, but much of the South. That style is less popular out west; Tulsa has a particularly impressive collection of Art Deco buildings. Equally gorgeous, but definitely different.

A less subtle difference (for me, at least), is the people. In Tennessee it's perfectly natural for strangers to wave when they pass you on the road, or to give you a friendly nod and smile in the produce section of the grocery store. Waitresses will endeavor to have genuine conversations with customers. Gentlemen always hold the door open for others. Most people try to make a new person feel welcome in their town or university or organization. In Oklahoma, I've found it to be much, much different. People react like you're crazy if you smile at them or try to strike up a conversation at the grocery store. When they learn you've moved here from another state, they act like they can't believe it: "Why would you want to move here?" they ask, incredulous. Those in the hospitality industry are surly and barely polite. Very few people hold the door. Somehow, Okies can sense foreigners, and those foreigners are not welcome. Maybe it's because Oklahomans are fiercely protective of their culture and feel threatened by invaders. Maybe it's because they're all dreadfully mean. I don't know.

I miss the South and its quaint, relaxed ways. Will I ever make it back? I'm not sure; it depends on a lot of things. Will I ever feel at home in Oklahoma? I'm not sure, but it ain't looking good. 

Continue Reading...

White Vinegar: What Can't It Do?

I hate it when things smell weird. Rooms, carpets, clothes, towels, garbage, sheets. Anything. In my never-ending quest to eliminate the funky smells that arise from living with two cats, two dogs, and a Johnny (not to mention from working at a barn), I've tried everything. Scented candles, check. Air-freshening sprays, check. Fabric refreshers, check. Laundry detergents/fabric softeners, check. Scent-absorbing substances, check. Somehow, stuff still resorted to smelling weird after the effects of the product wore off.

In my desperation, I turned to the Internet. This was after I'd washed towels three times in an effort to rid them of their musty smell. I came across this blurb about using white vinegar to wash towels. And you know what? It totally worked! White vinegar completely eradicated the nasty mildew smell from every towel I own.

A few weeks later, I read something online about how setting out a cup of white vinegar in a room would remove odors from the air. I thought this sounded kind of crazy, but I tried it in the smelliest room of the house: the TV room. (It smells like dogs and body odor. Delicious!) Lo and behold, it worked! The room smelled like vinegar for a couple of hours, but then nothing. It smelled like nothing. Glorious.

What else can this magical potion do? Clean windows, get the pee out, deodorize the garbage disposal, clean the dishwasher, remove stains from plastic food containers, and even remove build-up from your hair. Seriously. Use it. Love it.

Continue Reading...

Fatty Lumpkin

Yes, it's another dog.

Last month, Johnny and I added another canine family member. Oops, sorry we're just getting around to telling you. The director of the non-profit for which I work resigned last month and moved back to Michigan to care for her ailing mother. She gave me a number of things before leaving, including an aloe vera plant, some candles, a pair of spurs, a riding crop, a pair of riding breeches, an elliptical machine, and the dog pictured above. 

His name, officially, is Lucky. He sort of answers to it, and it's the name listed on all of his vet records. He's a former stray, so I suppose it's fitting. But we have another name for him around here: Fatty Lumpkin. If that sounds familiar, it's because it's from Lord of the Rings (the book, not the movie). From the Lord of the Rings Wiki:

"Fatty Lumpkin was one of Tom Bombadil's ponies. When Frodo and his Hobbit companions, Sam, Merry and Pippin were taken by the Barrow-wights, Tom rescues them on Fatty Lumpkin."

It's an appropriate name for the dog- the poor thing weighed 38 pounds at his last vet check-up!! He's only about two feet tall, so I think this makes him something like "morbidly obese". He wheezes when he walks, sleeps, rests, and chews. Johnny is afraid walks will kill him, so we've just been letting him take it easy and wander around the backyard at his own pace. (He has a vet appointment this week, which will hopefully shed light on what sort of exercise routine he can handle.)

Buttons is delighted to have a canine friend. After her efforts to play with the cats were continually rebutted, she seemed a little down. But once Lucky showed up, her spirits were renewed! Here was something she could jump on and bite and roll around with! Fatty Lumpkin, to his credit, lets her go crazy and never snaps or fights with her, even when she seems to be trying to tear one of his tiny ears off. He's generally a pretty good-natured fellow; he and Buttons only have spats when there aren't enough rawhide chews to go around. 

Lucky's long hair is kind of annoying- it sheds constantly and accumulates in gross piles around the house. He also smells really, really doggy and sometimes pees on the carpet. And his continuous wheezing is a real detriment to sleeping. But he's a dopey, sweet, cuddly animal, and we're (mostly) happy to have him.

Continue Reading...