Won't You Be My Neighbor?

By: Stephanie on 3:40 PM

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Since moving to Claremore, I've come to understand that living in a neighborhood (one with a name and signs for mailboxes and all) is unlike living anywhere else. I've never lived in a neighborhood before. I grew up on a small farm, and while neighbors were within walking distance, interaction with them was limited to inviting everyone over for a bonfire or a swim in the pool a few times each summer. In college, I lived in a house affectionately known as "The Commune"; I had at least 3 roommates at any given time and while the house was on a street with other houses, those other houses were far enough away and filled with people who wanted as little to do with a bunch of noisy college kids as possible (unless it was to call the police). When I struck out on my own and moved to Wichita, I rented a tiny apartment in the city. So this idea of a neighborhood filled with people you actually interact with is a bit new to me.

Here's where we live:

We are the house marked with "A". And now, I present the Guide to Steph & Johnny's Neighbors:

1. Neighbor Dan
Neighbor Dan cornered Johnny in our garage about a month ago in an effort to introduce himself. He's an older gentleman- maybe 70 years old- who's a retired dentist and Oklahoma native. He introduced himself to me about two weeks ago and we had a nice chat about technology and polo. Here's the thing about Neighbor Dan (we have no idea what his last name is; he simply said "Let's stick with first names for now!"): he does yard work for us. When he originally spoke to Johnny, it was to tell him he'd be happy to mow the side of our yard that borders his. A couple of weeks ago, we caught him sweeping grass clippings and leaves from our driveway and putting them in the trash bin for us. Neighbor Dan is very cheerful about all of this and insists that he likes the work- it keeps him busy. Neither Johnny nor I feel very good about having an elderly yard man. We're not the greatest about keeping the grass short and the pine needles picked up, but we feel very strange about having our 70 year old neighbor do it for us. There doesn't seem to be any stopping Neighbor Dan though, so I think we're just going to bake him some diabetic-friendly blueberry muffins and call it a day.

2. Herd of Children
Over the summer, Johnny and I saw a number of children playing a game of baseball in the front yard of this house. We figured it was nothing special- perhaps some extended family had come to visit or the kids had friends over. After a few weeks of seeing the baseball team practice, it became clear that this family simply had a LOT of children. The herd of kids can often be found playing in the front yard and wandering around in the street.

3. Teenage Delinquents
Speaking of wandering around in the street...There's at least one teenager living here and he has at least two teenage friends that like to hang out at his house. They are generally found playing a game of Frisbee at 10 PM in the middle of the street. I'm pretty sure I saw them smoking joints while sitting on the curb once, too.

4. Friendly Crazy Lady
Another elderly resident of the neighborhood, Friendly Crazy Lady has flagged us down a couple of times during our evening jogging/walking sessions. She's incredibly nice, but has asked us things like "Is that Mars? Do you see it? Here, take my binoculars."

5. Unpleasant Baby Mama
I don't know if it's because she just gave birth or because that's just how she is, but this young woman is decidedly unpleasant. We've encountered her a few times on our jogs and she never says hello or waves or acknowledges that we exist. She's always pushing a small baby in an elaborate stroller. When Friendly Crazy Lady inquired about Mars, this woman was nearby and refused to even say hello to Friendly Crazy Lady. Perhaps it's just my Southern upbringing talking here, but I feel you should at least greet someone who's speaking in your general direction.

6. Parks In Our Yard
Technically, they just park in the street in front of our yard, but the idea is the same: they're clearly on our side of the property line. These people own a pickup and a PT Cruiser (ugh, no good can come of a PT Cruiser) and have various Jeeps and PT Cruisers (who owns multiple PT Cruisers?!) in and out of the place on weekends. For the life of me, I can't understand why they park in the street in front of our house. They have plenty of room in their driveway for two cars, but frequently, one car will be in the driveway and one will be in front of our house. Johnny hates them and regularly contemplates doing something horrible to their truck.

7. Boat In The Street
Like Neighbors #6, Boat In The Street has a habit of taking up valuable driving space. However, instead of doing so with their car, they choose to do so with their boat. It's often found sticking halfway out of the driveway or jutting into the street at a weird angle. I don't know why it isn't in a marina or storage facility or in their backyard, but I really wish they would move it. I'm always afraid I'll hit it.

There are a few more neighborhood people not covered here- the police that never seem to go to work, the kid with the grind rail for a skateboard in his yard, the guy who has his dogs and kids trained to not leave the driveway, and the psychos with a giant ferocious dog on the loose, but that's another post for another day.