Welcome to OK, Mom!

Well, she's actually in Arkansas at the moment, but will be here in the Sooner State tomorrow. Then the fun begins! ...Not.

My mother and I get along amicably enough. She calls me weekly (down from twice weekly when I lived in Wichita) and we have a conversation about work, cats, and mutual acquaintances. I tell her what Johnny and I are up to, she tells me what various family members are up to. As her only child, I recognize the importance these phone calls have to her, and therefore, I always answer them. While this isn't my ideal relationship, it works well enough. (For reference, my ideal parental relationship is the one I share with my father: we talk on the phone once every few months, he feeds Moe for me, and sometimes he remembers when my birthday is.)

Since I moved to Oklahoma (600 miles away from my family), my mother has doggedly disparaged the state (and all prairie states in general). She seems to think it's a tumbleweed-filled landscape populated by rednecks and rough characters. She isn't entirely wrong (and I'll be the first to admit I dislike Claremore immensely), but I'm determined to show her all that vibrant, beautiful Tulsa has to offer. (Plus, I'm pretty sure if I keep her busy, she'll be too tired to bug me about going to a casino every night. SUCCESS.)

Here's what I'm looking at:

Monday

• Tulsa classics: Crazy ORU campus (praying hands, prayer tower), Golden Driller statue, Blue Whale on Route 66
• Lunch @ Dilly Deli
• Shopping in Brookside
• Dinner @ Hideaway Pizza

Tuesday

• Morning at the barn (RSU Equestrian Center): riding lesson on The G with Anne, teaching Roscoe to jump, clipping/bathing program horses (weather permitting)
• Lunch @ The Pink House
• Horse racing @ Will Rogers Downs
• Dinner @ house (I'll be sure to share the menu & recipes soon, provided they're well-received!)
• Night @ Hard Rock Casino

Wednesday

• Tour of Bluebell Ice Cream factory
• Lunch @ Billy Sims BBQ
• Shopping @ Utica Square
• Dinner @ The Wild Fork

Thursday

• Tour of Price Tower (Frank Lloyd Wright's only skyscraper)
• Lunch @ Goldie's Patio Grill
• Tour of Oak Hills Winery
• Dinner @ TBD
• Attend final dress rehearsal of Tulsa Opera's performance of Norma. (Thanks for the tickets, Anne! You're the best!!) 

I think I've planned a pretty excellent itinerary if I do say so myself. I hope my mom enjoys her trip. Mostly, though, I hope she stops hating on Oklahoma! 

(If you're wondering where Johnny is through all of this, he's meeting us for dinner on Monday and Thursday, grilling for us on Tuesday, and chilling with Buttons the rest of the time. Hooray, Johnny!)

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In Which the Local Paper is Terrible

I think my least favorite thing about living in Claremore (or any small town) is the local newspaper. I recognize its importance to many citizens; it's where people read about accomplishments of schoolchildren, achievements of local individuals, updates on city government goings-on. I understand those things are important and enjoyable reading material for many. I, however, am not one of those people.

To me, the local paper (Claremore Daily Progress, if you were wondering) is full of useless information about high school sports teams, the lunch menu at the elementary school, updates on church activities, and editorial rants about city council members. It's also littered with typos, misleading headlines, and poor design choices.

Let's examine some recent issues, shall we?

• "More legal claims targeting county" (April 17, 2011): "That includes $9,873 for a claim by Marion Gooding, a Tulsa man who was arrested for desecrating U.S. Fag, and $2,097 for Richard Fumi’s allegations that a Sheriff’s deputy injured him during an arrest." Desecrating a what? A US Fag, you say? Why is it capitalized? Where is the appropriate article before the noun?? (This typo was only in the print edition. Mercifully, the online edition reads "desecrating a U.S. flag".)
• "Meth lab found in garbage truck" (April 18, 2011): What image does this headline evoke? A scandal involving a rogue garbage truck driver cooking meth in a city vehicle, perhaps selling it on his rounds? You'd be wrong. Turns out someone deposited the remains of a meth lab into their trash can, and said contents eventually made it to a garbage truck. Is it really a meth lab when it's just a bunch of empty Claritin boxes??

And then there's the content itself. I won't slam the sports updates or the reports of spelling bee winners. Those things are important to most of the community, and I know if I had a kid playing baseball for the Zebras, I'd clip every one of those articles out, put them in a folder, and promptly forget where I placed it. My issues with the Progress are some of the idiotic drivel they publish under the pretense of "news". Take this column from last : September, written by special columnist Walt Thurn: "Christians, Muslims, and the Undecided". It's the first of a series focusing on differences between Christians and Muslims which seems to try to convert the undecided to Christianity under the guise of "explaining" the two religions. Here are some highlights:

• "Islam, on the other hand, subscribes very strongly to ‘Islamic Supremacism’ and believes that rejecters or infidels should be confronted immediately with some form of jihad." (There are three forms of jihad, two of which have nothing to do with warfare.)
• "Also to be considered in future weeks is the reality that this is America and this country was founded on Christian principles while allowing religious freedom." (In reality, the country was founded along pretty generous Deist principles.)
• "We have offered the freedom of religion to others, but the question is being raised whether we are giving up some basic freedoms in order to preserve the freedoms of those who may not agree with our constitution or wish to be assimilated into our way of life." (The author declines to outline which basic freedoms Americans are giving up.)

In subsequent columns, Thrun makes a number of incorrect statements on Islamic faith and continues to write with a condescending attitude towards those of the Islamic faith. I was surprised and deeply concerned that the local paper was willing to publish such an inflammatory column; I suppose in reality, I was the only one inflamed. After all, in a city of 75% white people deep in the Bible Belt, what can you expect?

I expect good reporting from my local media, that's what. Fair and balanced coverage on city, county, and state happenings. Real news- not dozens of human interest stories. I expect someone to proofread articles before they're published, and to edit articles and headlines when necessary. I expect a newspaper.

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Do you know when the best time for a snack is???

Right after you finish showing me how stupid the lyrics to my favorite songs are!!!!

Friggin FRIG Pandora, why must you do this???? Just... STOP OR SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!!

BACK STORY: I have paid tribute to vocal timbre over lyric content (style over substance? My best explanation for not really caring about Bob Dylan and Tom Waits, while flipping out for any hackneyed gang led by a cooey voiced female?) since back in the day. This has led to events such as: buying Scarlett Johansson's cd, talking about how much I like a song, only to have its content "being kind of pro-rapey" pointed out to me; digging around the internet for hours in hope of unearthing supa secret Velocity Girl bootlegs; an indefensible "pro She and Him" stance; and having no idea what a single Polvo lyric is despite having listened through each of their cd's at least 100x (their song titles are cool though, amirite???).

After having the lyrics to some long time faves literally written out for me though... I am pretty sure I would get down to a My Bloody Valentine/Stereolab/Lush/Cocteau Twins/etc. cover of Friday. Going a step further, I kind of think that is all 'Isn't Anything' is :[

#crisisoftaste

#thingsyoualwayssortofknewbutstilldontlikehavingpointedouttoyou

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