You Don't Appreciate It Til It's Gone

By: Stephanie on 9:56 AM

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I grew up in Tennessee and consider myself a Southerner, despite my innate dislike of sweet tea (I prefer unsweet with a big slice of lemon) and my inability to pull off a convincing accent for very long. Some people might argue that since I was born in New York, I'm still a damn Yankee. But I'd disagree. I love the South. It's where I grew up, where I went to school, where my heart will always stay.

To the untrained eye, Oklahoma might seem exactly like my beloved Tennessee. It's hot, mostly Republican, and one can certainly find a church on every corner. Everyone has a dog. Most people enjoy a cool sweet tea. Some folks say "y'all". But there are subtle differences, if you know where to look.

• People here in Oklahoma refer to soft drinks as "pop". Back home, it's always "coke", no matter the brand. 
• The lands of the South are varied, but generally consist of temperate forests across plains and hills. There's a bit of that in far eastern Oklahoma, but most of the state is distinctly part of the Great Plains. The difference between the lush green forests of Tennessee and the stark grassy plains of Oklahoma is immense and often depresses me.
• Oklahoma's history is rooted deeply in a Wild West, cowboys-and-Indians culture. Known as "Indian Territory" until it achieved statehood in 1907, this isn't surprising; however, it's vastly different from the South's heritage of early European settlement, slavery, and war. 
• The architecture of Tennessee is rooted in its antebellum period. Beautiful, columned Greek Revival-style plantations dot the landscape of not only Tennessee, but much of the South. That style is less popular out west; Tulsa has a particularly impressive collection of Art Deco buildings. Equally gorgeous, but definitely different.

A less subtle difference (for me, at least), is the people. In Tennessee it's perfectly natural for strangers to wave when they pass you on the road, or to give you a friendly nod and smile in the produce section of the grocery store. Waitresses will endeavor to have genuine conversations with customers. Gentlemen always hold the door open for others. Most people try to make a new person feel welcome in their town or university or organization. In Oklahoma, I've found it to be much, much different. People react like you're crazy if you smile at them or try to strike up a conversation at the grocery store. When they learn you've moved here from another state, they act like they can't believe it: "Why would you want to move here?" they ask, incredulous. Those in the hospitality industry are surly and barely polite. Very few people hold the door. Somehow, Okies can sense foreigners, and those foreigners are not welcome. Maybe it's because Oklahomans are fiercely protective of their culture and feel threatened by invaders. Maybe it's because they're all dreadfully mean. I don't know.

I miss the South and its quaint, relaxed ways. Will I ever make it back? I'm not sure; it depends on a lot of things. Will I ever feel at home in Oklahoma? I'm not sure, but it ain't looking good.